so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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