I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
