we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish you could order shots online.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
