Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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