thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
