You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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