i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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