People in love make me want to vomit
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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