update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
