we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
