as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
