Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's official drugs can't kill me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
