You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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