I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
