I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
