Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
someone owes me an orgasm
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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