there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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