Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
