How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
