my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
