Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
