He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
