Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
