went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
