Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm passing your future prison.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
