Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
