the room spins SO much faster in panama
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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