Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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