we're blogging at a bar
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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