You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
