So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
