He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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