Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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