Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
