i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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