I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
