Yo dont text me then not text me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
