Pants 0. Shit 1.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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