Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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