I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
