So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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