Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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