so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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