Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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