U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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