worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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