I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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