Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
