i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
