is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
