I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
